Anxiety, Insecurity, Uncategorized, Writing

January 31, 2019

I have been told my entire life that I need thicker skin. At 23, when I believe I have developed it, it seems as if I revert back to the girl who just needs thicker skin.

Thicker skin. People shout this advice whenever they can grasp my fears in the palm of their hands, as if I can just exfoliate this thin layer that engulfs me, shedding years of insecurity in a days time. Thicker skin. 

An illusion that I have been chasing my entire life. Just when I think I have grasped the concept, it slips through my hands like a wet bar of soap, resulting in me chasing it frantically around the slippery shower I call life. I spend days dragging around my own self critics because I am both the recipient and sender of these internal wounds….. Thicker skin.

Yet, somehow I picked a life where every lip curl, eye roll, bad hair day, and late night is quietly observed by 100+ eyes a day. I guess I should just grow thicker skin. 

Writing

January 15, 2019

What I know is that there is no difference between my readers and myself.

At the core, we are all the same; we are eager to fulfill and organically express ourselves in this estranged world. My hope is that my understanding of this keeps me grounded and relatable to the followers of my poetry.  Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who have supported me through this publication journey!

Much Love. XoXo. Angela. 

pic blog

 

 

Anxiety, Christmas, Uncategorized

The Holidays: 2018

The holidays are a time where emotions are running high and anxieties come swinging into your mind faster than your Great Aunt Judith running for the last piece of figgy pudding (does anyone even eat that)? We spend so much time worrying about hosting the perfect party, exchanging trendy gifts, and making sure everyone is happy and well fed, that we forget to enjoy ourselves in the process. This year I made a goal to stop and put the holidays on pause.

Every year, my family hosts our annual Christmas party. Instead of running around and making sure everyone was pleased with the decor of our house, impressed with the updated couches we purchased and appreciating the new plum wallpaper in the living room, I decided to take in every moment of what really makes Christmas wonderful. By hijacking my five senses, I saw my families priceless expressions when surprised with gifts, I felt my cousin’s smooth hair as he excitedly opened a coloring book, and smelled my mom’s frosted bunt cake cooking in the oven.

We can all agree that the holidays are a sensory overload. If we try our best to stop and reflect on what we want to get out of the holidays each year, our genuine excitement for the holidays can somehow be rekindled. We spend so much time living above our shoulders, letting our minds wander and strip power away from the present moment.

This year I took thirty seconds to look around and silently observe. I saw all that I have to be thankful for: my grandparents health, my brother being home from college, my sister laughing, my boyfriend hugging me and expressing his love.  30….29….28….27….26…. Counting down in my mind and breathing. Taking in every moment. This is life. Right now. 2018, December 25. Enjoy it.

49129684_2435659156505687_7227121682064867328_nImage may contain: Brendan Pucetas and Angel La, people smiling, people sitting, shoes and indoor

Uncategorized

November 22, 2018

I am thankful this year. More than ever before. Thankful for my life and the roof over my head. Thankful for my friends. Thankful for the food in my stomach. The classics, right?

Expanding on that in a more original forum, I am thankful for my followers. This is the first year that I can say that. In 2018, I have noticed a ginormous spark in my views and supporters. Sincerely in awe with everyone who has taken a moment out of their day to read my poems and experience a slice of my heart.

Thank you to all who wrote reviews on Amazon. The fact that working human beings with jobs and busy lives would take a moment to think about a young 23-year-old with a dream is astounding. I am now trending on “recently reviewed” on Amazon! WOOOOOW.

Saving the best for last… I am thankful for Brendan. The reason my life has changed so drastically. Since meeting Brendan, I have become brand new in more ways than one. Thank you, Brendan, for allowing me to see in my own soul what you have seen in me all along.

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Much Love. XoXo. Angela

Uncategorized

November 18th, 2018

My second Author Expo was yesterday. I find I am growing as a person through poetry. I wonder where my life would have taken me if I didn’t find poetry? I think that there would be some sort of disconnect between my actions and my emotions. I find that when I am not writing, my mind feels cloudy and bogged down.

In contrast, when I write, all my emotions are written on a page. I can visualize them. I can see things for how they truly are. Poetry allows me to draw shapes with my words and visualize my emotions in a colorful way. I paint pictures with my words. In the light of the Thanksgiving spirit, I am ultimately thankful for this gift.

Thank you to all my followers and those who have purchased the book. This poetry collection, “Overthought Thoughts of a 21-Year-Old,” is my pride and joy. It feels like my child! Giving these emotions away is something that I always deemed impossible. I am thankful for those who read my thoughts. You are the greatest gift.

Much Love. XoXo. Angela